The hardest part is waiting for a donor we're stuck in limbo and we know we need a miracle

Today, on the first day of our series ‘Child of our dreams’, Aasma Day talks to Claire and Neil Martin who are desperate for an egg donor so they can have the hope of a child together.

“First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes little baby in a baby carriage.”

It may just be a childhood playground song, but for many couples, this is the natural order they assume their lives will take when they find their perfect partner.

Claire and Neil Martin, of Crawford Avenue, Leyland, both knew they wanted children and thought that it would just happen when they felt the time was right.

The thought that it might be a struggle did not really occur to them as like many, they assumed it would be the most natural thing in the world.

The couple, who have been together for 10 years and married for six, both work for a travel company in Euxton, near Chorley where Claire, 36, works in customer services and Neil works on the transport side.

Claire explains: “Not being able to have children is not something you think about - until it affects you.

“Having children is something we both knew we wanted but first we wanted to get a house together and get settled.

“Once we got married, we thought having a baby was the natural next stage.”

After a year of trying for a baby, Claire and Neil began to suspect something wasn’t right and went to the doctors.

After undergoing tests and investigations, specialists told the devastated couple there was a problem with Claire’s eggs and their only chance of having a baby together was through IVF using donor eggs.

Claire explains: “Normally, a woman’s body produces the better quality eggs and releases them every month.

“But my body was not doing that. It was just putting any eggs out and sometimes, they didn’t think there were any eggs coming out at all.

“Doctors told us that there was next to no chance of us conceiving naturally.

“When all you’ve ever wanted is to have children, to be given that news is heartbreaking.”

Claire says from as far back as she can remember, she always knew she wanted to be a mum some day.

And Neil, who is an only child, grew up surrounded by cousins so family was always important to him.

Neil, 37, says: “I am an only child but my mum had seven brothers and sisters and my father was one of four, so I have got lots of cousins.

“Family is very important to myself and Claire and we both desperately want children if we can.

“When you hear tales of women who have become pregnant by accident or without really trying, it can be very difficult.

“It is hard when you want something so much when for other people it is a natural thing that they have not really planned or thought about.”

Claire says: “My mum has a twin brother and an older set of twins and an older sister so is one of five children.

“From being young, I have been with all my cousins and we are a close family with lots of aunties, uncles and cousins.

“I always took the motherly role and did babysitting and always knew that’s what I wanted for the future.

“I wanted to do what my mum has done for us and have that for my own children.”

Claire and Neil were referred to the Hewitt Fertility Centre at Liverpool Women’s Hospital where they had tests and counselling.

Claire’s sister, who has a daughter and a son, offered to be an egg donor for her sister and the IVF cycle took place in September last year.

Unfortunately, it was unsuccessful.

Claire explains: “We went all the way through the IVF cycle and they collected eggs, fertilised them and then implanted them - but it just didn’t work.

“It was a very difficult time as you go through all that convinced it will work and then you are left devastated.

“Doctors can’t pinpoint exactly why the IVF didn’t work but say the eggs just weren’t as good quality as they needed.

“The hospital are now keen for us to have IVF using a donor from outside as they think it will stand a better chance of working.

“However, at the moment at the centre, there is a four year wait for donor eggs on the NHS.”

The clinic recommend couples cut down their waiting time by advertising for an anonymous donor of their own if they feel this is the best route for them.

Neil says: “We have looked at private clinics and having the treatment privately and providing there is no physical barrier, if you can pay, you can have treatment using donor eggs.